Honest Hour

Hola from Dominicana Republica

It is such a beautiful morning here in the DR. We arrived safe and sound yesterday. We have had so many blessing these past few weeks, I haven't had time to sit and think and write. So let me take you back in time!

As you know by now I am incredibly horrible with change. It takes me a good month sometimes to adjust to change. But I am getting better. I think. Given the amount of chances Ive had, maybe worse since I haven't perfected my attitude yet. Robbie adjusts to change based on my attitude. Poor guy, he is such a sweetheart. He is the most easy going person you will ever meet. If I am having a good time then he is. If I am sassy sally then he is too. 
The off season was about a week in when I realized we were going to the DR. Nothing was official but I could hear it in Robbie's voice that we needed to go. He hadnt told me we were going yet. He hadn't even made up his mind. I just knew. I just didn't know when, how soon, where, or any of the details. I was angry. I was sad. I was heart broken I would have to leave my dogs. In my brain, I could rationalize how amazing this opportunity was. I knew we would NOT turn it down. My brain is smart enough to tell people I was excited. My brain can weigh the pros and cons and see all the pros. But my mind. My mind was somewhere else. The brain and the mind, man. If those two aren't working together you are a lot like me. My mind was telling me, "Ummm! No! NO! NO!!!! NO!!" Ugh I was so dang mad. But what kind of wife would I be to tell Robbie to turn this winter ball thing down...? A horrible one. I wanted to come to the DR. I did. I just wanted it to be my idea. On my time. All mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. And I didn't want to leave my dogs.

Fast forward to last night. Robbie and I are sitting at dinner. We hadn't eaten all day. We were both grumpy and irritated. The check literally took an hour. I mean from the time we asked for the check to the time we got the bill it was 1 hour! I got a total of 11 bug bites. I went to write an email to my best friend Megan. God love her, she is a nurse. Th email was a good bye letter. I needed her to tell my family in her Nursey lingo that I had Malaria and was dying a long slow death. If she didn't hear from me, I had died in a bush somewhere and the misquitos have taken over my body. I didn't send the email because my brain must have kicked in. My brain told me I was an idiot. Of course, I didn't have Malaria. DUH! I just got the shots for Malaria for our mission trip to Africa. Or maybe that was Meningitis... Idk.
And then a man interupts my brain and mind arguing with each other.
Robbie: "Hi"
Man: "You speak English"?
Robbie: Yes!
Man: excitement like Ive never seen before.
And these two proceed to have man talk while I am Web MD-ing bug bites the size of golf balls. These thoughts pop into my head. Brittany, you need to take a chill pill. Look around you and chill.
If you die of Malaria there is a good chance it could make the news.And that would be a good way to leave this earth.
This man is that excited about an English speaking person while you are sitting here being a hag.
This Morning.
I woke up and before Satan or my mind or whatever evil had possessed me over the past two days got to me I had a positive thought. I looked around at the palm trees. I thought, Do you know how many people would kill to be here in the DR right now? Yes. Yes, I do. Because every person I know has told me what they would do to be here right now. And then I felt guilty.
I sorted through this guilt with tea and meditation. And this is what I learned this morning:
I am so excited to be in the DR! It is absolutely beautiful here. I did have an ugly attitude hidden inside my heart BUT I will not feel guilty about it. I will share it with other people because other people have ugly attitudes about beautiful things too. The problem isn't in you or me. The problem is we couldn't see the beauty. We didn't know it was there. Just like some people don't like chocolate. It isn't their fault. They just don't get it.
Instead of waiting for beauty to find me, I will go and find the beautiful. Now, I know what you are thinking. I am crazy that I wouldn't be so freaking excited about this. I get it. But I am a slow learner. So in order for God to teach me lessons, He has to send me to the beach to get it. HA! Maybe, I am the smart one. And you are the slow one.
Honesty is freedom. I believe we all have these horribly ridiculous feelings that we think we need to hide inside. That is the mind talking. Get them out. I can't tell you how amazing it feels. I am free to fall completely in love with this place now. I already have. Mosquito's and all. Now I can see clearly enough to put on bug repellent. And if I am wrong and not everyone has these same horrible irrational thoughts sometimes then at least you are entertained.
Every week I will give you my honest hour. Whatever junk is inside me every week I will spill it all out right here. Good, bad or ugly. Hopefully there will be more good then bad and ugly. I am even going to make Robbie write an entry.
Going to enjoy the beach now!
Get all the junk out and go and find the beauty!
HE>i
 PS Pics from black and white event coming soon. It was such an amazing night!!!!
xo
B

PSS
My computer has translated everything into Spanish. I have clue how my computer is this smart but it is. Or it is the government. So now I will be learning Spanish.
Peace