Ethiopia SMILE

Hi Everyone!
I am so excited about this post. Ive written my thoughts and feeling about Ethiopia for this blog post a few times. Ive come back to it in the morning and just not been satisfied. My goal the whole time is for you to feel and see and hear what I did while living in ET for ten days. That is just not possible. Instead of trying to explain it all I came up with this instead. I left apart of my heart in Dube Bute, Africa. If you have ever been on a trip like this you may have felt the same way. Pictures, videos, words, essays, explanations- None do it justice.
It is like falling in love. When I fell for Robbie it was a love that couldn't be explained. You don't understand it until you yourself have it. You won't know what it feels like until you find the one whom your soul loves. I believe there are very few things in life that give you certain feelings that are unexplainable and Africa is one of them. Love is one of them. It is felt by few and desired by many.
 From the moment I stepped foot on the plane to Addis Ababa, the capitol of Ethiopia, I knew it was different. I was at peace in situations I normally have anxiety. Nothing unusually usual happened to me like it does in America. On a typical day in the states, I trip and fall at least ten times, lose my phone and keys, forget to do the other half of my makeup, and get lost for a good thirty minutes. Mine and Robbie's life is a perpetual hilarious disaster. Nothing like this happened in Africa. Everything was smooth and perfect.
There were about a million jaw dropping miracles everyday we were there. But one thing that sticks out to me is this:

 This little boy is on my mind everyday. His brown eyes, purple lips, and torn, dirty clothes are forever in my heart. This second picture was seconds before his father held him tightly in my direction. His father lovingly and boldly motioned for me to take him with me. He didn't speak the same language or even know who I was. But there is a universal language in pain. Our eyes connected and he motioned to me with his hands to leave while offering his baby boy to me. The first picture is the boy moments after I stared blankly back at the father speechless. I had nothing to give him. I couldn't give him an answer or a smile or even a deep breath. I had nothing to offer. At that moment my heart was ripped out of my chest forever. I wanted to take him and his dad and the man standing with them (probably the mans other son) and I wanted to run. I wanted to run far far away from Dube Bute. I wanted to give them a hug and a bath and a home and a rich full life. But all I had was a blank stare and emptiness. I caught my breath and felt the weight of my husband and the world pulling me back to our van as tears ran down my face. I wasn't the only person this man had offered his son too. He had a desperate and willing love for his baby boy. The walk back to the van was a long and dreary 20 seconds. I was heavy and whole and empty and lite all at the same time. I had been through Hell and back. As I sat in a van for the next 45 minutes into the center of the village millions of thoughts ran into my mind.
  None of those thoughts are clear to this day except these: I will never know a love like that Father had for his son. He was willing to give him to a perfect stranger all for the sake of a chance at happy and healthy life. He would give him up to give him life. And I couldn't give it to him. I couldn't take him away with me. I wanted to but I couldn't. And I couldn't even explain why to him. My other thought was in all of my days serving in Ethiopia I have never seen a clearer picture of the cross. We focus on so many things in life and very few of them are important. There are tiny miracles available to us everyday. My little purple lipped, brown eyed boy is one of them. He is a gift. He stole my heart but offered me life. I am softer today because of him. In a world where school shootings, rape, poverty, cancer, and bullying still exist it is a beautiful to become softer inspite of the world.
 The patch of hair you see on top of my little baby boys head is a gift too. Ethiopians leave this patch of hair on the top of children's heads until they know they will survive. The belief is that an angel will reach down and grab that little patch of hair if they die. This is a REAL picture of how real death is for Ethiopia. Children are dying everyday.
 When I came back everyone's question was, "What was the saddest thing you saw in the medical clinic?" My answer wasn't the leprosy or AIDS we treated. My answer was the saddest thing was just seeing them dying. Knowing a patch of hair meant the possibility of death for them.
 I couldn't blog about my experience yet because I hadn't found my miracle. I need a happy ending and telling you that I stood their looking at that little boy speechless and nothing else happen just didn't seem right. Too sad. I was waiting for the lesson. For the happy ending.  Even in the midst of all the tears I cried there has always been hope. Yes, they are all dying. But aren't we all? The difference we make is how we live. Inspite of all their circumstances they all had JOY. The most beautiful gift. Leprosy, AIDS, tumors, and so much more might be invading the country but nothing has stolen their Joy. My little brown eyed boy still has joy. No matter what happens to him an angel will come get him everyday until the day he is taken Home.  The Joy of Africa is teaching me and you and others that no matter your circumstance you can still choose joy. Look for the tiny miracles in everyday. Life is a beautiful and short gift. Lets use it this Christmas and New Year. Lets stop wasting our time hating our jobs, and our friends, ourselves and our enemies. Lets love the unlovable. Even our in laws. God doesn't say it but I am sure he means them too. Lets love everything about ourselves. When you start loving yourself you have enough love to start loving others. And this is where the world begins to change. We have got a lot of work to do so we better start loving now. Today. Africa needs us. A small village in Ethiopia called Dube Bute needs us. Our neighbors need us. Our families need us.
It always comes back to love. Never let the world steal your joy. Never let the world make you harder.
People can't do great things but we can all do small things with great love. I found healing in the JOY of the Ethiopians. Here is apart of the joy they gave me:

 Ill stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it All.

 "The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live". -Norman Cousins

 "Lets go with Jesus. Not the gay hating, war making political tool of the Right, but the outcast, Subversive, Supreme Adept who preferred the freaks and lepers, and despised and doomed to the rich and powerful." - John Cusack

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