#NOH8

Robbie and I recently did a campaign. A NOH8 campaign to be exact. The only way I can really explain how we ended up doing this is, God really. For those of you who don't know what a NOH8 campaign is let me first explain. This is their mission statement:
"The NOH8 Campaign is a charitable organization whose mission is to promote marriage, gender and human equality through education, advocacy, social media, and visual protest".
I would say their main focus is to stop hate crimes against the LBGT community. By hate crimes I mean everything from the government taking away their children because of their sexual orientation to getting obnoxious looks in the mall. Its all a crime. Its all hate.
  I want to focus on the days and weeks leading up to the photoshoot. I've got to be honest here. This blog is an amazing way of expressing my heart. And sometimes your heart is just not in the right place. Looking back months ago I know now God put this whole gay issue on my mind and in my heart. I am talking full blown all hours of the day, I am thinking about Gays and Christians. It is obviously a hot topic these days but I am not really the type to get involved in foolish arguments concerning government and Christian values. It is just nonsense to me. And here is the big BUT! 
But I am going to talk about this one. So maybe I am that type of person. And I want to hear your voices too. The gay topic was put on my mind at a bachelorette party of one of my dearest friends.  But at every good bachelorette party there is a lingerie show. DUH! So the bride is trying on all of her beautiful lingerie items and modeling them around the room. Well after about 10 outfits I got a little bored. I mean come on, I really just don't want to know what your going to be wearing on your honeymoon. I went into the kitchen where I found our other friend who is a lesbian. I noticed that she hadn't been in the room with us at all and I thought something was wrong. So I decided to sit and chat with her for a little bit and stuff my face with cake. (GLUTTON) She had expressed to me that she didn't want to make anyone feel awkward by being in there. "Ok, whatever I thought. That is nice but I don't think anyone cares if you are in there or not". Well the conversation stuck with me for months. 
In Spring Training I kept wrestling with the fact the Gay people are fighting for Rights and this is a BIG ISSUE. Christians believe that being gay is a sin. It just didn't set right with me. I prayed and prayed about this. I felt like okay so gay people aren't doing us any harm so why is this a sin? I dont get it. I begged God for answers. But at the end of the day I didnt get any and I was able to sleep by telling myself, "Well I am not gay so it isn't my problem". 
AND THEN... a friend of mine on the team told me about this book called CARRY ON WARRIOR by Glennon Melton. She said this, You will love this book except it talks about gays and abortion a lot. Which if you are a Christian you know the drill. HOT TOPICS. I suppose. Of course I had to read it.
 I ended up reading this book. I read a chapter called A MOUNTAIN I AM WILLING TO DIE ON about ten times wrestling with what I believed. I want to clarify a few things. Rob and I have NEVER EVER been ones to judge. We have gay friends and we love them unconditionally. I believed that God would deal with their sins just like he would mine. End of story. But now I was at a point where I felt like God wanted me to have an opinion and wanted me to voice it.
 Glennon writes a letter to her son and what she would tell him if he were gay. I need you to see what she says. Here it is:
Dear Chase,
Whoever you are, whoever you become. You are loved. You are a miracle. You are our dream come true.
Chase, here is what would happen in our home if one day you tell your father and I that you are gay:
Our eyes would open wide.
And we would grab you and hold you tighter than you would be able to bear. And while we were holding you we would say a silent prayer that as little time as possible passed between the moment you knew you were gay and the moment you told us. And that you were never once afraid to tell us. And we would love you and ask you one million questions and then we would love you some more and finally, I would likely rush out to buy some rainbow t-shirts, honey, because you know mama likes to have an appropriate outfit for every occasion.
And I don't mean, Chase, that we would be tolerant of you and your sexuality. If our goal is to be tolerant of people who are different than we are, Chase, then we really are aiming quite low. Traffic jams are to be tolerated. People are to be celebrated. People, every person, Is Divine. And so there would be celebrating. Celebrating that you would be one step closer to matching your outsides with your insides, to being who you are. And there would be a teeny part of my heart that would leap at the realization that I would forever be the most important woman in your life. And then we would tell everyone. We would not concern ourselves too much with their reactions. There will always be party poopers, baby.
We just wanted you to know this, honey. We've worried that since we are Christians, and since we love The Bible so much, that there might come a day when you feel unclear about our feelings about this. Because there are a few parts in The Bible that discuss homosexuality as a sin. So let us be clear about how we feel, because we have spent years of research and prayer and discussion deciding.
Chase, we don't believe that homosexuality is a sin. Your parents are Christians who believe that the Bible is inspired by God, just like people are. And since the Bible is a living thing, it is in its very nature to evolve toward becoming more loving. We are to interact with it, to interpret it with our minds and hearts and souls. We are to consider the culture and time in which it was written and then consider the progress humanity's made since then. We believe that when those two things conflict, we are to consider the spirit of the law before the letter of the law. And to always choose mercy over judgment. Sometimes this means that we appear to be picking and choosing what we believe in the Bible. It's not really that, exactly, but it looks like that. And many will tell you that this approach to Christianity is scandalous and blasphemous. But the thing is, honey, that the only thing that's scandalous about this approach is admitting it out loud. The truth is that every Christian is a Christian who picks and chooses what to follow in the Bible, in one way or another.
Several years ago I was in a Bible study at church, and there was some talk about homosexuality being sinful, and I spoke up. I quoted Mother Teresa and said "When we judge people we have no time to love them." And I was immediately reprimanded for my blasphemy by a woman who reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10 which says that none of the sexually immoral will inherit the kingdom of God and includes "homosexual offenders" on a list of those types of people.
But, I was very confused because this woman was speaking. In church. And she was also wearing a necklace. And I could see her hair, baby. She had no head covering. All of which are things that are sooooo totally against the Bible Rules. * And so I just assumed that she had decided not to follow the parts of the Bible that limited her particular freedoms, but to hold fast to the parts that limited other people's freedoms. I didn't point this out at the time baby, because she wasn't a bad person. People are doing the best they can, mostly. It's best not to embarrass people.
What I'm trying to say is that each Christian uses different criteria to decide what parts of the Bible to prioritize and demonstrate in their lives. Our criteria is that if it doesn't bring us closer to seeing humanity as one, as connected, if it turns our judgment outward instead of inward, if it doesn't help us become better lovers of God and others, if it distracts us from remembering what we are really supposed to be doing down here, which is finding God in every human being, serving each other before ourselves, feeding hungry people, comforting the sick and sad, giving up everything we have for others, laying down our lives for our friends... then we just assume we don't understand it yet, we put it on a shelf, and we move on. Because all I need to know is that I am reborn. And here's what I believe it means to be reborn:
The first time you're born, you identify the people in the room as your family. The second time you're born, you identify the whole world as your family. Christianity is not about joining a particular club, it's about waking up to the fact that we are all in the same club. Every last one of us. So avoid discussions about who's in and who's out at all costs. Everybody's in, baby. That's what makes it beautiful. And hard. If working out your faith is not beautiful and hard, find a new one to work out. And if spiritual teachers are encouraging you to fear anyone, watch them closely, honey. Raise your eyebrow and then your hand. Because the phrase repeated most often in that Bible they are quoting is Do Not Be Afraid. So when they tell you that gay people are a threat to marriage, honey, think hard.
I can only speak from my personal experience, but I've been married for nine years and barely any gay people have tried to break up my marriage. I say barely any because that Nate Berkus is a little shady. I am defenseless against his cuteness and eye for accessories and so he is always convincing me to buy beautiful trinkets with our grocery money. This drives your sweet father a bit nuts. So you might want to keep your eye on Berkus. But with the exception of him, I'm fairly certain that the only threats to my marriage are my pride and anger and plain old human wanderlust. Do not be afraid of people who seem different than you, baby. Different always turns out to be an illusion. Look hard.
Chase, God gave you the Bible, and He also gave you your heart and your mind and I believe He'd like you to use all three. It's a good system of checks and balances He designed. Prioritizing can still be hard, though. Jesus predicted that. So he gave us this story. A man approached Jesus and said that he was very confused by all of God's laws and directions and asked Jesus to break it down for him. He said, "What are the most important laws?" And Jesus said, "Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love others as yourself." When in doubt, Chase, measure all your decisions and beliefs against that. Make damn sure that you are offering others the same rights, courtesies, and respect that you expect for yourself. If you do that, you can't go wrong.
Chase, you are okay. You are a child of God. As is everyone else. There is nothing that you can become or do that will make God love you any more or any less. Nothing that you already are or will become is a surprise to God. Tomorrow has already been approved.
And so baby, your father and I have only one specific expectation of you. And that is that you celebrate others the way we celebrate you. That you remember, every day, every minute, that there is no one on God's Green Earth who deserves more or less respect than you do, My Love.
"He has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." - Michah 6:8
Love, Mama
P.S. We thought we should mention, honey, that if you're straight, that's okay too. I mean, it'd be a little anti-climactic now, honestly. But your father and I will deal.
P.P.S. As daddy read this essay, I watched his gorgeous face intensify. He teared up a little. Then he slammed the letter down on the kitchen table and said emphatically and without a touch of irony, "DAMN STRAIGHT."
Which, when you think about it honey, is really the funniest possible thing daddy could have said.
Love you Forever.

 Here I am today looking back at where both my husband and I were months ago. Here is a good place to be. This is what I have learned and I hope we can learn this together. Whether being gay is a sin or not IS NOT and SHOULD NOT be the question. Because our opinions do not allow or deny people into heaven NOR do they give anyone a right to judge anyone trying to live there lives. Lets say this:
1.) It is a sin. Okay so is gluttony and I would say that is a sin ALL Americans live with daily (lifestyle sin- for all you Bible buffs out there)
2.) It is not a sin. Did you do your part in standing up for people who's rights are being taken away? Did I make someone feel comfortable in their own skin at a party? 
Gay Rights is happening. History will repeat itself in one form or another. 
I understand that hestitency on whether to jump on the band wagon or not. At the end of your life when God asks you why you believed in something wouldn't you rather say you loved too much than too little?
I work at a Christian school in the off season. When this NOH8 photo comes out I am excited to see how they handle it. And I WILL let you know.
 Earlier I said sometimes your heart isn't in the right place. Mine wasn't at first. The attitude of I don't want to ruffle any ones feathers or stir up drama at work or in our families wasn't right. For me it wasn't right.  Children are going to school bullied because they are struggling. Am I Gay am I not? I think Maclemore says it beautifully in his song, Same Love. 
I am a gay loving Christian. Some days I feel like I identify more with the gays then I do the Christians. I am annoyed that I only hear about the Christians who hate gays. What do you think? I want to know your opinions. Keep them respectful. It is okay to think it's wrong. Because after all you aren't the boss. Neither am I.  The only way we can grow is together. In celebration of the first gay athlete coming out, this is for him and to the many more that will come out soon after.
I cant wait to share the pics from the NOH8 day. It restores my hope in humanity. 
HE>i
xoxo
B
PS you know how I feel about spell check.