Baseball wife. Wife of an athlete. Robbie Ross' wife. Players wife....
I don't know if this revolution started far before my time or with the tv series called "baseball wives" which by the way is completely a joke. Most of those women were not actual wives and none of them were wives to current players. But the word Baseball Wife was introduced to me the day I said "I do" and quickly became my identity. Sometimes by choice. Most times not.
I'm going to give you a little tiny snippet of what it's like to walk in my shoes as a Players wife. Patience please... This post will come with much frustration and gratitude as do most jobs. Yes, I call it a job.
"If someone asks me what I do all day one more time I think my spleen will rupture"! I remember saying these words to my mom this time last year. I was new to MLB and still trying to figure out how to cook a meal let alone find my identity in being BASEBALL WIFE. I didn't need people everywhere asking me what I do as a baseball wife. I didn't even know I was one. I thought I was just Robbie's wife. Did I accidentally sign some paper joining me to a club called baseball wives ?? What I did everyday seemed like such a bizarre question to me bc doesn't everyone do different things everyday? Did these people want me to write down my schedule for them! I knew the question meant, I know you work out for five hours, shop for six and come to baseball games for four. But I didn't get why everyone was so interested... And it wasn't just fans of Robbie's. It was friends. Close friends. People from our hometown. People that I thought new me. Some people had genuine curiosity as to what it's like and some people had that twang in their voice that said nothing but paaaalease.... You're one of those women on tv.
The truth about all of it is this- in some ways there is a little secret society where we all find our identities as baseball wives. We do things together that only the wives get to do. We all need each other. We are the only ones going through all the same emotions. We get each other. No one else can understand what it's like to be Mrs. (Insert players name) and not just Brittany anymore. No one else gets the challenges and the amazingness of this life. I had questions like who should we give tickets to bc apparently we have new cousins in the family that need them, and how do I travel to the city my hubs is in, or why don't feel so lonely? And what do I do with my dogs and how do I pack an entire home up in a day and blah blah blah blah blah blah! These women rally together to help each other get through it. You see it's almost like being put into witness protection. You pick up and move to a city that you do not chose with only your husband and children and pets. You have no friends or sense of where you are and slapped on a new name tag called baseball wife. There are expectations of a baseball wife. You have to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, and be a certain way. The hardest part of it all is they don't even write it all down for you. You just have to guess...and fail!!! You are to look up to the veteran wives but not actually look at them. You need to know your place. Don't ask too many questions to the wrong person. It is all very confusing and very exhausting. In this secret society there are secret rules and the rules are made up of opinions of people who shouldn't have opinions at all.
All of this left me with one thing. Who am I? Can I really be a baseball wife? When your lost you generally start looking. And when you start looking at people to guide you- you'll always end up lost...er!
And that is when I decided I really don't care what these people think or expect of me. All I can really do is be me and if that means baseball wife so be it. So I Rewrote my definition of baseball wife and did what I pleased. No one was going to tell me not to wear shorts on Fridays.
So far so good. I've found out that a lot of other baseball wives feel the same way too. We are all lost. The most rewarding thing is we are all a little lost. Every single one of us. Baseball wife or not. We genuinely go through life wondering what the hell am I doing? Right!? We can be lost together. I think that means we are found.
So now! Being a baseball wife means I get to challenge the unwritten rules put on me! I get to live up to my rebels for life tattoo. Don't get me wrong- it's hard cruising through life lost but it sure is fun!
And to answer the question what do I do all day Ill tell you. All my days are different. Some days I'm in the airport way longer than any person should be aloud. I'm actually surprised TSA isn't suspicious of me at this point. When I am on the road with my husband I am lucky enough to explore the city or visit with friends living there. When I am home I am keeping our home together. Paying more bills then any person should be aloud to pay. I volunteer. I have a wedding and event planning business that I own and worked before a became a baseball wife so I spend a lot of timing planning things for friends. I organize things for our charity mission 108. I go to my husbands signings. I cook. Yes!!! I do cook! I know.. You can't believe it but its true. Of course I shop. What women doesn't? I workout. I go to baseball games. Late. But I go! I feel like I spend most hours in the car. lost. shocking. And I spend too much time on twitter.
In the offseason- I do have a job. yes my job is a choice. I throw myself into my cheerleaders. I coach and spend time investing in High schoolers lives bc they are lost too. I learn sign language. I try my best to do things for people and be there. Be present. Whatever I'm doing I just try to BE PRESENT. That's the goal. Don't buzz through life. I am Mrs. Robbie Ross. I am proud of it. A day in my shoes would be fun but it would also be confusing and frustrating. I am standing behind my husband everyday to support his dream in every way I can. This is what every baseball wife does. The best she can. If you meet one of us please don't ask if we shop all day. I am telling you right now... we do! And if you are one never lose your identity in the title. Be present. Take advantage of every opportunity.
I am a baseball wife but we are all so much more!
HE>i
Xoxo
B
Ps I didn't spell check bc the flight attendant has told me five times to turn off my phone so please don't tweet me telling me how many words I spelled wrong. Peace.
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