Mostly I'm too busy being busy that I forget to stop and breathe. Baseball season usually consumes me like that.
I've been surrounded by baseball for the past 8 years now. Three of those years I've been traveling with Robbie. I've not been a straight a student when it comes to learning lessons in life. But I've finally got this one figured out. Breathe. Soak it all in. Be fully present.
It seems like just yesterday I was sitting in my hotel room with my sister waiting for Robbie to call me and say, "Big Leagues", "Triple A", or "Double A".
It was April Fools day when he got the news. I think the Rangers purposely waited til that day just so they could trick him. Of course he tricked me too. He called and told me Round Rock was where they saw Robbie for the beginning of the season. My heart sank. That was the first moment in all of baseball when baseball wife mode kicked in. Baseball wife mode is when all your fears and anxiety and stress is shoved to the side for a moment so you can figure your crap and your husbands crap out. In one flash of a second I had our entire day, week, and baseball season planned out. That's my job. In one moment I had arranged how I would get myself and three dogs packed up and flown to RoundRock, how I'd get my sister in law to help me and get her back home, how I I'd pack two cars and get them shipped, and where we would live for the next six months. I'd figure it out. I had to. Id also be fully present and listen to my husband melt down in disappointment. Triple A wasn't what we were hoping for!
In the midst of all the chaos in my head I heard the words, "April Fools". I am the prankster of all pranksters and somehow those two words had no meaning. I looked at my sister in law and said it out loud. "April Fools". It was her lit up expression that brought me back to real life and I realized what that meant. We were going to the Big Leagues. And we were going today. Another plan had already set into motion. A much sweeter, nicer plan.
From that day on it has been a blur. There have been moments where I've snapped in and out of reality but mostly I don't know what is going on until it's already happened.
We moved into a high rise apartment because our financial advisor told me that's what most people do who live in big cities. We've always lived in KY and there ain't no such thing as a high rise there. Robbie's always lived with 5 friends in the minor leagues in a small three bedroom apartment where at least one guy sleeps in the kitchen. Three dogs and two humans on the 14th floor in the middle of Dallas was the worst idea I had ever NOT had. Grocery trips were excruciating and I basically I never left our apartment. I went to games, took my dogs to the dog park and fully emerged myself in Katniss, Peta's, and Glales love life. The shock of baseball and transition from being a college student and nanny to a MLB traveling wife was more than i had prepared for.
The off season couldnt have come quick enough and the Big Leagues wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
I think I assumed there would be a big Grand welcoming party from all the wives. Ya know, like a sorority. We would all cook dinners together and hang out at each other's houses. It was far from home my first year of MLB. I was happy but I was a grown up. And no one told me growing up is a dirty joke. It's a scam and I'll never do it again.
I learned more that year then I ever learned in highschool or college. There's these things called unwritten rules that people buy into when we grow up. There's a picture in all of our heads of what life is supposed to look like. News flash. Life never looks like that. But we get really torn up and panicky when life takes turns we didn't know about. And that causes fear. So we stop living. We stop doing the things that really mean something to us. Like dancing, writing, painting, singing, digging in the dirt, running because the wind feels good in our face. Instead we are running to fit into our jeans by Friday. We are in zombie mode. I know this because once I started talking about how I was feeling as a traveling Baseball wife other wives were saying the same thing. Any not just baseball wives- all wives. Life dumped a load of responsibility on us one day that no one warmed us about. For me it came in the form of a white ball with red stitches. For you it might have been a first job, college, a raise, or kids!!!! Holy Cow-kids!!! You moms out there are unbelievable. I just become an aunt and feel worn out from that so I can't imagine.
But regardless of what form of dump life laid on you we've all been there. If you haven't, then I envy you. For the rest of us we can't stop living! We can't let the fear of striking out keep us from playing the game⚾️⚾️⚾️
Our lives shouldn't look like this:
Wake up.
Get ready
Get others ready (children/husbands)
Scamper through the day working, cooking, cleaning, going, going, going!
Go to sleep
Repeat!
Remember when you were a kid and woke up with your head at the foot of the bed? Remember in college when you randomly bought a dog you couldn't really take care of?
Remember that time you had such an amazing night you forgot to Instagram it?
That time you said, "Frick it. Let's do it"!
That time you lived outside your comfort zone?
Those are the moments you remember. Because life really happens in the details. We can make millions of excuses for our boring little lives but the only person that's screwing is ourselves! I made a 1 year bucket list for New Years and forced my family to do the same. I add a few things to that list as my imagination grows. The list is made up of things that will keep me from being an adult. It's a list of things that make you smile.
I'll share some of my list with you and you can share yours with me if you want. The key is to write down all the things that freak you out and do them anyways.
Abort Adulthood List
Color outside the lines (for my sisters Ahlai and Jordyn)
Go to Haiti.
Fall in love with as many people as I can
Practice yoga
Light candles every single day. Even if you have to pack them in your suitcase
Eat cookies for dinner and don't feel guilty about it
Listen to your body. Swim. Run. Sleep. Eat. When you need it and forgive yourself when you fail.
Dance. At a studio.
Model
Get a freaking massage. As many as you need.
Buy more candles
Practice sign language like you used to
Pray for your husband.
Random acts of kindness
More tatoos
Go to the beach
Befriend a homeless person in every city you go to
Start writing your book 🙈
Always-always pull over when you see a lost dog.
Forgive yourself for being late
Accept that your always going to be late
Start spell checking
Buy a hammock
Cry! As often as you want to.
Forget about the spell checking thing
Write.
Go back to Ethiopia
Ride your bike
Spend every last free second in nature. Allow it to restore your soul.
Ready. Set. Your turn:) always allow the moments in life that break you to change you as well.
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